Swimming pool

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Swimming pool

I grab my towel around 11 o'clock on a free Wednesday, a book, a bottle of ALDI mineral water and a bottle Sunscreen and sit in the car. Of course I would have to do not drive car. I could also go by bike. But riding a bike is just as good as riding a tram and walking is really not possible! Well, I drive to the swimming pool.
The closer I get to the pool, the bigger the number of Cyclists, with sunny spirits, criss-cross and side by side anyway, all around the street, the sunglasses on the nose and tons of clutter in the basket, such as Air mattresses, coolers, parasols or their offspring. you could believe some were expelled from their homes on the Away to the stranger, but no, they really only want one day in the swimming pool.

In deep trust in God and my patience rushing So they are uncoordinated in front of my car, but I let myself Do not discourage and look for a parking space. Shadow would be great. At the best not too far away. I'm looking for about half an hour and then put me seven and a half kilometers from the entrance against the direction of travel in the absolute ban on one stop sun-drenched bike path, the above-mentioned crappy stranely ignore irony.
In front of the cash register stands a huge crowd. Including five older men in the team telecom outfits that loudly proclaim that After 20 kilometers of cycling they still swim 25 lanes become. Interesting triathlon variant: by bike into the Swimming pool, back to the ambulance. Three teenies squeeze through the row forward. On my friendly Note, you should please stand behind, answers one with an equally friendly: "Shut up, Fagot! "But I'm just looking forward to the cool Wet and watch by the way, that in the crowd none of me Purse steals.
At the cash register, I claim my right to a reduction. The friendly lady asks me in, student ID card, Identity card, driver's license, debit card, organ donor card, Present vaccination certificate and birth certificate and subject me to one Polygraph test. After the BKA checks my fingerprints has I actually been granted reduced admission to the bathing fun Park!
I look for a nice place in the meadow, put my original red fagot on an ants hole and an old one Portion of fries and looking forward to the beautiful day. The birds sing, the kids scream and the kids next door enjoy it whole swimming pool with the lovely shouts of Rammstein, which is blaring from her ghetto blaster. Then I enjoy the Bees and wasps by going from head to toe with one lather up creamy smelly sunscreen. Immediately they hum funny around me.
Oh, life is beautiful! After spending half an hour in I'm getting thirsty and reaching for the sun my water. When I'm about to drink, I'm thundering Football funny on the back of the pear, which leads to me At the bottleneck, an even funnier little piece of the incisor tee off. I turn around and there is, so a coincidence! The sympathetic little ass-child from the entrance! He says sorry little to me: "Give my ball, you freak!" There I can Of course, do not say no and throw him the ball.
The pool is really great! But a sip of water could not really refreshing me. Time for a dip in the cold Wet! After asking a nice man next to me, but keep an eye on my things while I'm swimming, I stroll to the pool.

Here it is great! Many little kids are running around. One is running for me with his head in the eggs and starts howling. The mother yells at me a little what I could think of, so easy on the pelvis to pass by when your child is playing around. Yes, I do Of course, sorry, I should have been really careful. Finally I'm in the water. That's really beautiful! The sun oil of Thousands of people dazzled on the water surface, through the Chlorine-burned eyes, the world seems in a lovely Veil shrouded. I am diving and enjoying the change between cold water and warm pee as me a nice little one Child jumps from the 3-meter board on his back. When I moan turn up to excuse me, I see that it is exactly the same child as it was! Hach how nice! Hopefully it has not hurt! It actually stops right away cry after I have given him my watch. Such a nice one Child! Out of the water, back to the square.
When I arrive there, the nice neighbor is a little bit up My things have taken care, not there. My purse too Not. But his dog, just my Schnitzelbrötchen eats to shit on my sneaker afterwards. Nice dog! Actually, I am very balanced, but now it is slow enough. I pack my things together and the stupid dog in the cool box of his friendly owner. I leave the same solemnly in the wave pool to water and am looking amused the wild ride while I whistle a few bars "Surfin USA". With the phone of the owner I call a 0190 number and throw Then it's on the roof of the dressing rooms. I can not do it now almost calmed down. I am strolling to my football friend, suppose Shoot the ball and shoot him with an impressive Full span from a meter away directly into his nice Face. After he has fallen over, covered in blood, I take the opportunity, still in his backpack put little fire and make me on the way to the exit.

As I pass the edge of the pool I see my buddy from 3 Meter board. Since the lifeguard is currently in the process of I use the moment to catch grandpa from the pool, grab me the cute little pig priest's trunks and hang them not far away to a high branch. When I arrive at the exit I look around one last time around: The football bum hops blaring around his burning backpack (the fire has meanwhile spread over to neighboring bast mats), the small one Nervesäge hops naked under the swimwear tree (Surrounded of screeching girls) and the nice neighbor is looking for his dog. The tightly closed cool box still pulls its tracks in Wave pool and the cell phone sparkles me funny from the dressing roof to. The bill must now be around 98 euros.
When I get back to the car a traffic ticket drann. I take take it off, read it carefully and eat it up. Then I get up in my brooding hot car and think: Not bad at all, such a Day in the outdoor pool.

Joke Name Swimming pool
Joke Category Holiday Travel Jokes
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Editor Point 7.8
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